February 2014. I can still hear my scream as they bought me round from the spinal fusion. They had missed my spine with the anaesthetic. The pain was too much for me to endure, my body shut down and I went away from the world to hide. I nearly died.
My life was not saved that day by a surgeon, but by the Registrar of the hospital who stayed by my side and kept telling me to find my ‘happy place’. I just couldn’t. 24 hours later my daughters were brought in, presumably to say goodbye. They were my ‘happy place’ and I came round. I would not be here today without my beautiful girls.
Engulfed with PTSD , addicted to opioids, the overuse of alcohol and struggling with grief after losing the four women who had shaped my life, my health spiralled out of control until I found myself sitting in front of four consultants on four consecutive days asking if my conditions were connected. They didn’t know as they only dealt with their specialised area.
I decided to have a tumour removed from my throat but move away from conventional medicine to heal my other chronic illnesses.
To date, the journey I am on has been extraordinary.